Marilyn and Ari….

I talked to Ari at about 3PM 12-18-2009

Immediately upon checking in with Ari I got the impression that it was hard work to move or keep his muscles going. Shoulders ache. Elbows ache – something systemic is coursing through his body (a systemic illness or disease). Pain in left knee. Everything feels old.

Ari: (proudly) I should not have been walking this whole time, but I did it. [Marilyn’s note: He says this as though he should not have been able to even walk or get on as well as he has these past months, but he is proud of his ability to override his body and still have a good quality of life. He shows me a picture of him just lying down and watching – watching everything that is going on around him. It’s very peaceful.  He likes to be able to just sit and observe.]

Ari: They came for me last night, but I told them to go. I wanted to say good-bye [to Laurel] and the time was not appropriate when they came so I sent them away. [Marilyn’s note: he shows me a beautiful array of spirits - so light and bright… a full entourage ready to escort him to the other side, but Ari was firm in his decision to stay until he could say good-bye to you in his own way. He did not want to ‘die in his sleep’ he wanted to be with you when he left.] You are a good mom!

[Now he shows me a picture of how he will cross, it is an image of his body lying and you at his head. The body is empty/hollow and very dead and his spirit rises out of it, a feeling of floating and total release – very peaceful, very zen. He calls this “Spirit Release”

Ari: It’s okay. You’ll [Laurel] be okay. It’s time for Brita now. You’ve taken good care of me and I of you.

[He tells me it’s not just his skeletal/muscular systems failing, but also his heart and organs.

Marilyn: Ari, did you tell her [Laurel] it was time.

Ari: Not yet.  I don’t want to go, but my body says otherwise. My body is making this decision for me, but we will see each other again.  I’m going to see Teddy and we have some work to do together.  There are others there that wait for me, too.  They have been waiting a long time, because I was supposed to have left this plane already.  And I could have left, too, if I wanted to.  But I did not want to and I am stronger than my body, or at least I was… for a while. I love my life. I love my love [Laurel], and I love my friends [other dogs and Joshua].

[He shows me a picture of a fire or a bonfire in your back yard]

{Back end and hips are not working, poop and pee is difficult to control/hold] He says: sorry about that.

He says: He wanted to be with you today when he goes, so he waited for you.  He loves you so, so very much. You are only separated by dimension, which is an illusion. In truth you are One and neither of you could love the other any more. You have his heart. You have done right by him and you have learned much from each other. Hold on to what you know and be You.

Marilyn Tokach
Training & Behavior Specialist
Pure Spirit ~ Animal Communication, Training & Behavior Solutions
www.Pure-Spirit.com
Direct: 952-226-2622
Scheduling: 952-226-2660 (Office Manager: Kimberly)
Proud Pets. Proud Pet Owners

Not so good... maybe a seizure...

Yesterday and today he got up and down on his own and was in and out. He has trouble sitting because he can’t move his tail out of the way so most of the time when he stops it is to lie down. He has gotten a little whiney – not in a “I’m hurting” sort of way but rather in a “I want something” way. The negative event was that when I came home and went toward the back room where he sleeps there was the overpowering smell of urine. I don’t think I’ve ever smelled it so strong BUT I couldn’t locate it except by smell (yuck) because it was clear… the comforter was wet but not yellow and same with the cream colored rug. He’s drinking lots of water, so much so that I made note of it.

……..just some findings… I don’t think he drinks enough water for this…

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/canine-diabetes-insipidus-symptoms-and-treatment.html

<<< Central diabetes insipidus can also be caused due to a tumor in the brain >>>

<<< The most common symptom of canine diabetes insipidus is frequent urination with discharge of dilute and clear urine and excessive drinking of water. Sometimes, dehydration may occur due to excessive urination and inability to conserve water. Disorientation and seizures have also been observed in dogs with diabetes insipidus>>>

Emailed Marilyn and told her what happened… Here is her response….

Ari said there was a trembling/tremoring and then he urinated, I feel like he left his body during the seizure - it was not uncomfortable for him, although he has a far away expression and inability to make his body do what his brain tells it to do... (so yes, a seizure). He felt relief at the evacuation of urine, but some unpleasant discomfort after the fact (as in, he got the pee on himself). He is still not it terrible pain, mostly tightness/achiness in muscles and joints. He is still enjoying laying and watching things and being close to you and his girls. He loves you very much.

Knows to Walk on Rugs

Ari got up this morning and wouldn’t walk unless there was a rug in front of him – smart guy! He went out and then came back in when I called because it was raining and has been laying on the same rug for the last 5 hours. His feet are huge. ….2pm… he walked outside on his own but stumbled a lot. Went from the house 20 feet or so and laid down at the fence for a bit and then another 20 feet to be in the shade.

Here is a much younger Ari …. hanging out on the rugs on the couch…

I Watched a Seizure.

Ari started to limp a bit yesterday and this morning when I was sitting on the couch I observed his whole body trembling. This afternoon, he walked crooked and laid down as often as he could. He still sat outside along the fence so he could bark at the others. Marilyn was here for the weekend and he was telling her last night that he could use some pain pills so I added some to his food which he then didn’t finish. Today at the workshop, a number of people talked with him and he said the same thing he’s been saying: pain not unbearable, loves me, likes it out in the sun; etc.

He Needed Help to Go Outside

Yesterday something happened and he was not able to walk last night and his feet are really swollen. I had to take him out with a scarf around his stomach to lift the weight off his back legs. All day he barely moved but was alert to what was going on. I took him outside and parked him not too far from the fence where the girls run and he seemed to like that and would bark at them.

Talking with Marilyn he said he only has a little pain – can’t get comfortable – just really tired. He feels like his body was twisted like a rag. Nothing major or out of the ordinary happened yesterday. He doesn’t know if he had a seizure and she showed him what a seizure looks like and he said he has those all the time now and often it’s internal so that I if he lies down. He’s not in real pain but he feels like his insides are coming out of him – literally that’s not happening but he feels horrible. He used to think when he couldn’t get up anymore that would be it but now lying around is not so bad and he’s ok with it. Can’t get up now means he can’t lift his head and that’s how he’ll tell me it’s time. He likes that he’s spending more time with me and has to rely on me more and I’m his full focus now. He feels closer to me.

He couldn't get up...

Tonight he was hobbling more. He was lying on the floor and I had to help him up because he didn’t lay on the rug with the backing. He was lying in the sun earlier this evening and normally he would head for the shade so when I talked with Marilyn I asked him and he said it was because he couldn’t get up. He also said he has little feeling in his back end. He sits on his tail and it curls under him. Marilyn also said she saw a bright light in his head…. He also described pressure around his middle like a rubber band around it that kept getting tighter.

What HE has to Say.

Conversations with Marilyn concerning his health.

….Whole back end wobbly not losing use of only one leg but actually a leg and a half. Right leg can’t support and he can’t compensate. When he shifts his weight he falls over.
…. No headaches but dizziness.
…. Is your time up? He won’t answer it because he doesn’t want to think about it. He's in denial. He knows he’s not making it easier for me or him. He likes being a dog and doing things with me and sometimes being a clown. He’s been with me many times before… cliffs, centuries ago, involved once, dogs together (street dogs). What can I do? Love him and hold him.
….Stomach bloated but dry mouth which is why he drinks so much water. He feels kind of spacey or tipsy. He sees his mental capacities leaving but not dementia. Something physical pressing … most likely brain tumor.
…. He hates putting me through this and he wonders how I’ll ever survive without him to keep the girls in line. Loves me and hates the way he has to pee. (squatting)
…. Not long… 0-6 weeks. Very hard to say…

Kobie’s report (the caretaker – empathetic)

· Ari vomits in the back yard in the corner and doesn’t want to tell me.

· He’s trying to be strong and he’s not the dog he used to be and it’s sad.

Olivia’s report (into herself)

· Knows nothing she is so itchy. Give her drugs.(she says). it’s maddening…

Brita’s report (matter of fact)

· She knows that he’s not long for this world. Animals die. (Not rude but a reflective statement)

· Nothing she can do so she’s accepting it.· She’s sad that I’m sad and everything is heavy around here now.

Teddy

· He’s (Teddy) everywhere….everything’s fine….comfortable…at ease…· Fine with his resting place

· Ari’s coming soon but that’s ok since everyone gets along – they were together before.

· He’s watching all of us and he’s everywhere.

Liking Retirement!

Ari – Feels great…..Great… GREAT!!…..

Likes to run and roll in snow. He thought he wouldn’t like retirement but seems to have settled in with it – keeps tabs on the critters in the yard and knows what’s going on in the neighborhood.

Regarding Brita – she’s good and she has a good attitude and good personality – she’ll never be as good as him when it comes to working but she does some things better (like listening to me). She doesn’t have the drive he has and if I would train them together he could demonstrate so things to help her.

Regarding running with her – there would be an initial who’s in charge then things would be ok. That’s very important with her because she thinks she should be.

Kobie takes things too personally – when I went after her it was more of displaced frustration – she was in the way.

He loves me and wants to go on rides more often – it would be great to find a place where he can get out to run and explore. That would be something different and interesting.

Fun Training

Ø How are you feeling?
……strong and perky – just fine

Ø How do you feel about continuing to train?
…..what else is there?

Upcoming trial?
– win – win – we’re gonna win…

Ø How do you feel about Brita?.
...alot to learn but wants to learn…

Ø What else would you like to tell me?
….stop worrying about him running – this is what he loves to do and he’s fine.

Brita running away from Ari in the background!

Training for the trial.

And more training….

And the mock trial…

You Almost Died You Know!

...............after he almost died from an Addisonian Crisis how are you feeling?

*******pretty good…muscle ache between shoulder blade – maybe stress – maybe not stress

do you feel well enough to work?

*******yea….doesn’t like the surprises like people coming from behind - this is disturbing to him… maybe too much pressure. He likes what he can see. He knows what to expect because it’s the regular guys … when a strange helper it bugs him.. He likes working in defense.

do you know how close you came to not being here?

******yes he does – at one point he really zoned and was balancing – he was very aware and so on the edge that he had no strong opinion. He is glad to be back and is excited about the working again. He’s sorry he stressed me out and when asked what he likes he answered being outside and being with girls.

I’m thinking about getting a girl puppy to train so when you can’t trial anymore we can still go and you can get fun bites…. What would you think about that? And a girl so you could hang out together.

******* A new puppy should be a girl and he could teach her to work very well. (I said bad things too like chasing the bus) and he said he can’t help it if she learns those things and that’s not bad anyway.

Why DO you DO what you do?

.............. Why did you go after the Irish terrier the other day at the dog club?

he was really concentrating or gearing up for something (he had just gotten there and he and Kobie were running around the room) She had an attitude and it was purely reactive and only between him and the terrier. It had nothing to do with me or Kobie. She was moving into his space and was rude and selfish. He had to keep track of things and in hindsight it was probably not smart. He never intended to hurt her only tell her who was in charge. It was like the perfect storm and all came together at the same time and he reacted.

Physical – back legs fatigued – very fit – not to worry body building competition - Arnold -Training – ok…grand scheme of things ok… winning team. Overall very good.. frustrated and not enough fun.. too long.. not huge reward.. no one available …. Train someone… be able to bite and bite and bite… that what he can do.. on first day let him bite without having to work… chomp on him.. he really likes Greg - Chris ok good too… testerone… he knows I am doing the best I can.. opportunity to offer 2 cents has to… not bitching or complaining.

The First Conversation

First Conversation with Marilyn and she didn't know any of my dogs. (When she first asked me to describe Ari I said he was my skinny dog and my only short coat. She said does he have a big chest, I said yes he does and she said he’s telling me he’s proud of his big chest!)

What can I do for you to help you not to be so stressed and vocal when you’re doing bitework? You have such awesome obedience until you see someone who has a sleeve or is in a suit and then it’s all you can think about.

He really, really likes to bite so much so that he can’t focus on what he has to do. It’s hard for him because all he can think about is biting….that’s what he’s focused on. He said I didn’t screw him up that it’s just part of his personality.

Also, what can I do so we can be a team on the field? You looked so good when Greg handled you.

(This was in Baltimore last June when I had him entered in a PSA trial. He BLEW ME OFF in the first obedience to the point where he picked up a tennis ball and wouldn’t give it to me. I don’t think he thought he was doing wrong, I think HE thought we were out for a walk and he didn’t have to listen. On the way off the field I stopped by a guy that I had trained with the week before the trial and asked him to handle him or I would pull him. So Greg did handle him and they scored 84 one day and 88 the next in obedience. 88 ranked him 5th nationally in obedience, according to an unofficial survey at that time and that’s how tough the scoring is. In protection there are 3 scenarios and you have to pass all three and he missed one by ONE point. His over all percentage was 83% which is very good and other dogs that passed didn’t get that high a percentage..)

There was a discomfort level with Greg and he had to focus.

(It could have been anyone who is a trainer.) With me there is a comfort level. He is SO tuned in to me, he knows my mannerisms, etc. (Analogy is if I have a dinner party at my house, I’m comfortable with the place. If I have to host a dinner party held at a friend’s house, I would have more focus because I don’t know what’s where. He HAD to concentrate.)

(She said that I have to switch things up with him so he HAS to focus. Different places. Different locations on the field. Switch obedience and protection. Stay outside a fence where bitework is being done.)

How do you feel about the other dogs?

• Olivia – she and Ari are friends, like business associates. He Respects her, likes her, reveres her. (She and Ari are the ones that travel together to training and trials…)

• Tori – he calls her the Princess. She’s the newest but she never incorporated into group. He feels sorry for her. She’s not “street smart” but “book smart”. She doesn’t understand dog language and can’t relate to the others. (I hadn’t talked about Tori and I’ve always called her the princess and she hated the other dogs)

• Kobie – says she’s HIS GIRL. Arm around her….protects her. …not necessarily girlfriend but could be father/daughter relationship. (They do play together better than any of them)

• Teddy – is bigger than him. ….has a bigger personality. ….bigger aura. No real opinion. Doesn’t want Teddy around and wouldn’t mind if he went away. (And he IS bigger than him and he and Teddy do NOT get along! They did for a short period of time until one day they go into it over me.)

Are you feeling ok? If there was one thing I could do for you, what would it be?

He said he loves to run the fence line and would love it if it were longer. It’s the Best thing in the world.

(It’s already 250 feet long and he spends HOURS running it. Every morning from 6am until I bring him in he’s out chasing the school bus and anything that moves. Sometimes for 3 hours if I’m home.) I talked to her for about 30 minutes about Ari.